Many things affect the atmosphere in a marriage, but having a child is perhaps the main one. Despite the difficulties, it is possible to be a happy couple with a newborn baby. This article will discuss relationship problems after having a baby and five principal issues you can face. Don't worry; they can all be solved!
Naturally, you are faced with chores such as cooking and cleaning even before the birth of a child. However, after a new family member's appearance, you have even more on your plate — you may not have the luxury of putting aside an unwashed plate for later. Time becomes the most valuable currency in parenthood, and after the birth of a child, housework can strain your relationship as a couple.
When someone may suddenly realize that the other is not taking on their fair share of household tasks it often leads to some strife. But to keep a marriage strong, both partners should be as sincere to the other spouse as possible.
"Women tend to think that if they say what needs to be taken care of, the other person will volunteer to do it. Note that men respond much better to direct inquiries," — says Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D., author of Happily Married with Kids. To cope with these marital problems, you must speak directly to your spouse about your requests and needs without hints and ambiguity. Also, thank them for fulfilling requests and do not take them for granted. Gratitude works wonders.
Sex is another problem faced by post-baby marriage. And it’s usually not that one of the spouses has abruptly stopped "wanting" the other. It's just that mutual fatigue from everyday issues is so intense that the only thing you dream about is a pillow and a blanket.
People often admitted, ”I love sex, but I like to sleep more." This leads to logical relationship stress: husband distant, wife hates this psychological abyss, but nothing can be done about it.
To improve the relationship and minimize situations where someone feels neglected. Try scheduling time for sex. And it’s okay if sex is the very last item on the schedule of household affairs.
Remember — you "planned" sex before marriage. Maybe not so literally, but you prepared, mentally and physically so in this new reality you can do the same.
Having a baby changes not only your relationship but also affects grandparents. Often, grandparents are in seventh heaven with happiness about it. After the baby is born, they forget about boundaries. Many couples complain that their parents now feel they have the right to come over to babysit their children at any time of the day. This increases feeling insecure in marriage.
Naturally, such help is beneficial, but it should be requested. Competently delineated boundaries are the solution to this issue. "You have the right to ask your partner to speak to their parents," says Gayle Peterson, Ph.D., a family therapist in Berkeley, California, and author of Making Healthy Families. "Grandparents can feel threatened by a daughter-in-law (or son in law) and may respond better to their own child," — continues Peterson.
It is essential not to enter into open conflict but to calmly talk with your parents, indicating that you love them very much and are very grateful to them, but this is your home and your rules.
On some of the "bad" days, people may feel like their spouse is against them. So they immediately ask themselves, "How do I save my relationship?" Instead, they should be asking, "How can we devote more time to each other?"
"After the birth of a child, the concept of personal time ceases to exist. All time becomes family time,” — says Anna Khmara, certified life transformation coach. All conversations boil down only to the purchase of groceries, strollers, children's birthdays, etc. It is exhausting and deprives a couple of their special bond, which has nothing to do with the child. And to keep the spark lit, you need to disconnect from the topic of children and spend time alone together.
The solution here will be agreements to put one another first at times. As with sex, plan dates even if it feels easier to stay home. Take a walk together, go to a baseball game or craft fair. Something you would both enjoy as adults. Trust us, spending a couple hours on each other will make you better parents for your littles.
Having a baby can put stress on finances. Experts in this area can advise on investments and managing the family budget, but we want to emphasize the psychological aspect of the financial issue.
Now, you are a family and have to make all-important financial decisions together. Bringing in a baby, spending preferences could a little. You may feel it is time to save when your partner feels there is no one better to spend your money on.
Either way is ok as long a you come to some agreement with your partner. Keep checking in with one another through time.
Communication always helps get the relationship back on track.
The birth of a baby is an incredibly wonderful stage in every couple's relationship. Along could come several problems that you have not encountered before. Honesty, sincerity, and care for each other will become the key to remaining happy as young parents.
Natalie Maximets is a certified life transformation coach at OnlineDivorce.com. She has expertise in mindfulness and sustainability. She is a published author focused on the most progressive solutions in the field of psychology. Natalie helps people go through fundamental life challenges, such as divorce, and build an entirely new life by reframing their personal narrative.